Is That Emotion/Energy Even Yours?

I was on a walk with a friend recently and they were talking to me about their dilemma around whether to leave their current corporate job or go to a start up position that was offered to them.

The start up position was literally created for her because the company liked her so much, they offered to pay her more than her current job, it's less work, the position is remote and also on a different time zone.

Her day would end at 3pm and she would have actual space and time to work on her art, which is what her true passion is.

I was confused what the dilemma was and why she hadn’t already left her current corporate job, which she doesn’t even like, is not remote, is understaffed and quite frankly seems to just overall drain the life force out of her.

I asked her what the hold up was (my friends and clients know when they come to me, I have zero fluff) and she listed the following:

• What if the start up lets me go?

• What if this new company goes under?

• I feel like I am not being responsible

• I feel guilty leaving, they (current job) rely on me

What immediately came through to me from the first two questions was that those responses were coming from the anxious mind without any real evidence based in the current reality of life.

I reflected back to her that all you can really work with is what’s being shown to you in this current moment which is that the new company is currently doing well and they went out of their way to create a position that didn’t exist before, specifically for her (btw this is the *ultimate* invitation for a Projector in Human Design).

I also reminded her that corporate certainty is a forever illusion as seen by ongoing layoffs and budget cuts 🤷🏽‍♀️.

But it was the second two points that really struck me.

Without even pausing, I asked my friend, "is that energy even yours?"

She was silent and I knew she was processing what I had asked.

So, I asked another question. "Whose voice is telling you those (last 2) things?"

I asked those questions because knowing my friend and her background I know that not only is she one of the most responsible people I’ve ever met but that she’s been hugely successful in almost anything that she has put her creative energy towards.

I also know she’s highly sensitive and while one of the beautiful things about being highly sensitive is the capacity for deep feelings and immense empathy, for highly sensitive folks, there’s also a large capacity to take on emotions and energies that aren’t actually ours.

To the extent that is appropriate and within your control, this is why it’s so important to be very cognizant and mindful of the spaces and people you find yourself around.

Without proper energetic boundaries and regular energetic clearing, it can be very easy to absorb the emotions and the energies around you and start confusing them as your own.

When we talk about internalized oppression or internalized anything, it’s not just a thought form or belief system that isn't congruent with who we authentically are.

It’s a literal energy.

It’s an energetic blueprint that’s been absorbed (usually unconsciously) in your body and in your field and then becomes an operating system that you believe to be yours but actually isn’t.

For my friend (and I think for a lot of people), that meant that voice telling her it wasn't responsible to leave her job wasn't actually hers. It was largely rooted in her parents' belief system and their experiences and expectations (both said and unsaid).

Highly sensitive or not, I think most of us don’t actually know what our own true authentic energy feels like; we are so often conditioned by the people and environments around us without tools and techniques to know how to come back home to ourselves and our own home energy.

This blueprint and this operating system can, and is often, absorbed from childhood (although not always) and many of us create our entire lives based off of it thinking we are the ones in the driver seat making the decisions when that’s not the full picture.

• We might get lost in a sea of emotions that aren’t actually our emotions to feel

• We might get overwhelmed by the energy around us and our nervous system might short circuit by energy that is not ours to process

• We might make decisions in our relationships or careers based off of the blueprint of our parents, caregivers or our closest environments that’s not authentically ours

• We might have negative thought patterns that are thinking us vs. us thinking them

The good news is that energy is meant to move which means these things can in fact shift.

With practices like EFT and energetic hygiene, we can release the energy that’s not ours and radically shift our mindset and our actions to be in alignment with our own personal truths vs. the truth of other people.

This is when we see profound shifts in not only the quality of our energy levels but the quality of our life.

I created this short EFT video, Releasing Others’ Energy, to support with this process and has been one of my most viewed videos on Youtube.

The process + reflection questions in the section below are from my own personal practice as well as with my clients and hope they might provide some additional support for you.

You deserve to have access to all of your energy and live a life that reflects that.

Sending you love and ease,
Bianca

p.s - Here is a short IG reel I created to add some humor to all of this