Pain Pushes Until the Vision Pulls
I was working with one of my 1:1 clients a few weeks back and she shared with me how ready she was to leave her corporate job.
This is a very very big deal given that at the start of our work together, one of her main visions was to get promoted, make more money and continue climbing the ladder in her sales role (she was very good at it).
As she was sharing, I noticed she kept repeating that she was “just so ready to leave,” “over it” and that she felt unmotivated and disconnected from anything that she was supposed to be doing within her role.
Now, while there was nothing wrong with her feeling this way; in fact, it was a huge testament to the work we’ve done in re-wiring her belief system, re-programming her scarcity mindset and getting her nervous system to a healed enough place where she has felt safe enough to veer away from the corporate path she was so dead set on when she came to me.
However, what was missing in her sharing was a vision beyond the pain and frustration.
It reminded me of a few years back when I was getting serious about the fact that I was ready to leave my corporate advertising job. I was listening to a podcast while I was running and I heard Michael Bernard Beckwith, Founder and CEO of the Agape International Spiritual Center say:
The words quite literally stopped me in my tracks.
Why?
Because at the time, I was so desperate to leave a situation that I wasn’t getting any fulfillment from and tired of putting energy towards that I was more consumed by that energy than I was with the energy of what was beyond that.
I was so deeply focused on what I didn’t want that it was preventing me from clearly asking, seeing or even just imagining what I did want; what was really possible for me and my life beyond my present discontentment.
This is a fairly typical pattern that I see when people come to work with me and just with the world in general.
It can be a lot easier to focus on the pain; to focus on the problems; to focus on what we don’t want because, if we’re honest with ourselves, a lot of times that pain and frustration is actually pretty familiar and comfortable for us. Sometimes, it can feel easier and less overwhelming to stay there than to attempt to envision another way of being.
It can feel vulnerable and even scary to dream, to hope, to imagine, to believe in something different and better than our current circumstances, especially when those circumstances feel “safe” or the socially acceptable path to be taking.
On top of that, many of us are going through so much at any given time, it doesn’t feel feasible or possible to dream beyond our pain or trauma and many of us don’t even know how or where to begin.
But in the case of this client, we had done enough work where this vision was not only possible but it was something that was readily available to her, she just needed reminding.
I reminded her that as important as it is to identify and give attention to our triggers and our pain points, it’s equally as important to give attention to our dreams and visions.
Our pain is important. It shows us that something is off within us that needs to be examined and expressed. It can even begin to guide on us what might need to change; however, if we stay in the pain then that can become our world.
When we begin giving attention to a vision that is not associated with our pain (or a reaction to it) and is instead connected to our soul and its unique expression, we begin to not just move beyond the pain, we begin to step into vision, imagination and a world of possibility.
To be clear, we aren’t talking about toxic positivity where we only focus on the good and ignore very real trauma / challenging emotions or difficult life circumstances.
There is always a balance.
We hold that vision that’s in alignment with our soul and as we allow that vision to pull us forward, if we are conscious and willing, it can pull us out of the pain into something and someone greater.
As blocks, negative beliefs, old stories and old traumas come up and we move through them, we can allow that vision to transform our entire life and our being in the process (this is why EFT 'Tapping' is so effective: it allows us to release stuck stress & trauma from the nervous system while simultaneously re-programming new beliefs, behaviors and dreams.) .
It’s not always easy, but I promise it’s always worth it.
You can check out some resources below that I hope can help you on your way.
And if you’re desiring to go deeper into consciously moving towards that vision (or creating one in the first place), I’ve opened up a few more spots in my 1:1 program: The Bridge, or you can check out more opportunities to work together below.
Sending you much faith and courage,
Bianca
P.S - I would love to hear from you! Where are you currently in your journey - is pain pushing you or is a vision pulling (there's no wrong answer!)?